Thursday, September 10, 2009


My problem in relationships is that I'm not selfish enough.

Yup. You read that right.

I'm a giver. That's in ALL of my relationships...professional, friendships, everything.

And I was thinking about this all day and really....I'm going to start putting myself first.

I'm a good woman. I deserve to be courted. I deserve to be wooed, to be told I'm beautiful, to be DESIRED.

Trish is right. Afroman, Aussie...I made it too easy. I gave them convenient sex and a hot meal.

Fuuuuck that.

Which reminds me. Gi. I could have back-slapped her yesterday. She's been dating this dude who is trying to be an actor. He's out of work. They've been chilling really heavy. I told her they should slow up because that's how she gets attached quickly. She tells me how they talk about sex a lot (initiated by her) and how she can tell he's working with a lot. I raise my eyebrow. I tell her she needs to control herself. That its really up to us (women) to control the sexual pace because (most) men will have sex but will they call the next day - doubtful. She told him that she doesn't want to have sex til they're in a relationship. He respects that. I'm like..Gi, ease up on the sex talk because you're sending mixed messages and you're going to have your mind going some place it shouldn't go.

No one effing listens to me!

Yesterday, she tells me she slept with him on Sunday. The Lawwwwwd's day, lol.

Then, she found out that he didn't tell his mother he was seeing someone and she doesn't want to go to his house to chill (he lives w/mom).

He said..."Its only been a month. He didn't want to tell his mom when they don't have a title and he's not sure how it will work out."


Gi is hurt. She won't admit it but she's sensitive and she's like...well, we slept together.

*le sigh*

I told her to fall back.

She said she would and she wasn't going to sleep with him again until they do have a title.

I know she will sleep with him again. I know how this will end. She said..."I was trying not to make the same mistakes...."

*le sigh*

Not saying I'm any better but geeez louiiiiseeeeee! We really see other people's situations better than out own for real.
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Trish said...

We sure do. From the outside looking in we're banging on the glass telling them to run and they can't hear us. When it's our own situation we're like what are those people outside mouthing to me.

I'm so very very glad that you are realizing you're worth the time and work. It seems to me that there are givers and takers and both play their roles. I think that two givers could work out because they get like they give.

I always thought that takers should be together too, that is until my little brother got married. He married a taker like himself and they have been going through all kinds of hell because both are used to having people fall over them letting them have their way.

Young woman on a journey said...

wow...trish always beats me with the same comments.

i am glad you are seeing your worth. you are such a good woman and shouldn't make it easy for these bums. they need to work harder cause you are worth all that and more. you should never have to ask yourself out on a date. they should be falling over each other trying to get your attention. I just hope for you, with my whole heart, that the next person you give to (friends or lover) is worth it!