I'm wondering....is this progress or is it me trying to feign progress?
With Afroman, it was always like he never tried hard enough. He never went out of his way for anything and masochist me (!!!) needed to prove my love for him even more by spending more time, overextending myself to ---- I don't even know.
The major slap in my face that made me quit was at Christmas when I asked him to spend the night and he said "he didn't feel like taking the train home.".
It wasn't a slap as in an insult but more of a wake-up call and I'm wide-eyed and bushy-tailed.
He e-mailed me yesterday admitting regret that we could not see each other and truthfully, I don't buy it. Maybe, he honestly couldn't leave his family to come and see me, but past transgressions kinda just refute anything he says.
Its been a little over a year since we broke up. How long does it take to get over someone you thought would be your Great Love? How long does it take to forget lips you thought would be the last ones you'd kiss? When do you stop reminiscing on the good times and how long before you can no longer feel the softness of their skin, the brown of their eyes, their caress, etc.
I suspect in a few more years when I'm in a happier situation and can reasonably look back, I'll scoff at my dramatization of the whole thing.
The wound is starting to form a scab if only I could stop picking at it.