Fantasize

Ever notice how babies stare at you without blinking.

Nice start to the post....yes? Yes.

I feel really warm inside.
I like a boy and his name is Carter.
Carter and I have begun talking to each other more after I told him on Twitter that I miss him. I do.

We began v-chatting whenever we each have a free moment. He's really cool. In the back of my mind I keep telling myself that its not going anywhere. He's trying to be in NYC for the summer. After that, he has another year of school. Then he's going to Atlanta to move.

He's awakening something cool in me. When I think about him, I feel flutters. I like him a lot. So, what do you do when its not necessarily plausible to be together? Go with the flow. That's what he said but I want to be smart about this. I don't want my heart to be in shambles as its been after every relationship.

So, do I actively pursue other people? Is there something like not actively pursuing but if someone comes along, date them? Its too soon to have that convo but I like him! At this point, I'm enjoying the feeling but I'm not trying to feed into it.

I also like CJ whom I've been talking to a lot more lately.
They're 2 different people but they both live hella far away.

When I have a bad day, I find myself calling either of them. With Carter, we have that ferocious sexual tension. With CJ, I could really date him even though he's far away, for some reason, I could find myself flying out to see him.

I asked Carter about how he felt about putting all his eggs in one basket. He gave me great advice: Don't do it. So, I'm not. Lol.

Editor offered me a partner position in the magazine. Its great but trying to get 2 businesses off the ground...Good Lawd! I don't know if I have it in me!

I love the mag and I'm passionate but....idk.

So, I guess something good was around the bend, right? :)
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