I am so uber frustrated right now.
At times, it feels as though, I'm fighting so hard for everything. Like I'm running with everything I have in me, only to end up in quicksand. At other times, I feel like I have no direction.
I want! I want! I want!
I'm watching all these shows with these princesses and they're so...privileged, you know. Zoe Kravitz can have her own makeup line tomorrow like that! *snaps fingers*
I know of the voids in my life which can not yet be filled. I feel like God is going to fill them in His own time. When I try to do it on my own, di-sa-ster.
I need a break. I owe a bit of money resulting from my party which will be paid off by March. Right after that, I'm going to prepare to go to LA for a week. I've been talking about LA forever. Never been. So, I think by the end of March, I'll buy my ticket for June some time and will begin trying to build contacts there for a full week of stuff.
July, I've committed to a road trip to Chicago. I'm excited. I'll meet some folks out there.
I'm also trying to get my debt under control.
The first debt is the party, then I have a $967 hospital bill from when I slammed my finger in my mother's steel front door this summer. My nail needed to be removed. It was an ORDEAL. Various credit card bills, etc. I have to check out my credit report. Its a crapshot. I have to manage my $$ better.
I'm excited for the future but geeez, making things happen will take Jesus. Its the only power I've got.
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