It is really hard when you realize you were so totally wrong in your living and God is stretching you, imploring you to do better.
Tonight, we had Pastoral Bible Teaching. The title of the teaching is" Surviving In Between." You're not where you were but you're not where God wants you to be and its also too late to go back.
I'm in that in between state. Literally. In every aspect of my life. I'm in between jobs, loves... *sigh*
My pastor said that we use the in between as something that is negative but being in between means that there's something else on the horizon.
The first part of the teaching was about God-complexes. He said, "If you're the one that everyone runs to when they have a problem, something is wrong."
I am the one that everyone goes to when they have a problem.
He also said that you need to get off of other people's ship of tribulation. He mentioned Jonah and the whale and how when Jonah was on the ship and it was rocking. The crew was throwing heavy things off the ship when Jonah had already told them that he was the reason for the storm.
He said, "Warning comes before destruction. A haughty look comes before the fall. When you were doing your mess, someone told you to stop doing it and you didn't. Just like you've told someone what they were doing was wrong and they didn't it brought a whole heap of trouble on their head just like it brought a whole heap of trouble on yours."
He also said, "Let people take the medicine they chose. Let some people go. "
The first person that came into my mind was BFF. Sunday, Punjabi's (ex) girl walked up on her and him while she was picking up a Mother's Day. The girl called her a whole bunch of bitches and whores. BFF was so rattled that yesterday she literally spent the entire day with me. We cooked, ate, walked the dog, everything. at 11pm, I was like...okay, I'm tired. You can stay and sleep or you can drive home. Anytime there's trouble, she calls me when we all warned her several times to leave dude alone. A few of my friends tell me in nice ways to let her stew in her mess. "Nina, you're patient," the say, "too patient." Maybe they're warning me..."let her swallow her own medicine." Pastor said tonight to let God deal with his people. Don't let them lean on you so much they're not turning to Him. He brought them to the place they're at for a reason. He said even in our own mess. Sometimes, we'll pray for God to help and in a snap of our fingers, he helps and then another time...same prayer and he doesn't respond.
So, I'm not sure what to do when it comes to BFF. Im sure there's a reason why I'm the only one who listens to her talk about her troubles.
*sigh*
There was a lot more I'll share later
3 comments:
I wholeheartedly want to sympathize but it's hard! you are incredibly patient and loving. but I can only imagine the toll it must take on you! use your energy on those you realize how special it is and on yourself!
Ok this is going to sound rude and nasty but I PROMISE I don't mean it that way...but maybe you listen to her about her and her troubles because they give you some
reprieve from your own? Speaking from experience, for awhile I had this friend who was going through similar situation as I had went through. And going to therapy made me realize that one reasons why I would listen (even though it took a toll on me) was because (1) it reminded me how far I'd come (it was a great feeling of accomplishment) and (2) it made me feel like I was...better? Like as messed up as my life was, it wasn't like that.
It got to a point where it was so taxing that I was like, ok, I need to push those two prideful (cuz those are kinda prideful right?) and do whats right for me. And that means supporting but no longer SUPPORTING. If that makes sense.
Blogger updated yesterday and somehow Jaded's comment was lost...weird science.
Anyway...she said that I may have some subconscious thing that says I listen to BFF because it keeps my mind off my own troubles and my life is better than hers..
I disagree.
I listen because I was never listened to. I have that issue these days as well and so I believe part of me listens in hopes that when I need to talk, people will listen as I have to them in the past.
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