Friday, September 7, 2007


I believe I almost died last night. It was just after 12. I'd felt great
all day with the exception of my throat hurting....but that was all
good. I felt a dark presence in my room as I lay there. I was thirsty, so I got up to get juice and I could barely walk 10 feet from my bedroom to the kitchen.

I thought hot tea would be better. So I got everything ready to realize I used a dirty spoon to stir it with and had food particles swimming in it. Great.
I turned to lay down and I blanked out for a second. My head felt like it was made of lead and I almost passed out. I've never ever been sick like that ever.I started crying hysterically. I called BestFriend but her phone was going straight to voicemail.
I was messaging Twin and he called me down. He said I had to take a hot hot hot bath. Drink some tea. Calm myself down. Relax. Meditate. It took me everything to just calm down and do what he said.

My bathtub is the most uncomfortable thing ever. I can't lay down in it with my arms at my side. It was hard to maneuver but I did it. I felt calm. The replenished fluids and the meditation helped a lot. I realized a lot of my unhappiness stems from work.
not being able to have your ends meet can do that to a person.

I still felt like death was hanging over me.I didn't sleep until my eyes felt heavy and I couldn't help it.

I kept waking up every hour literally on the hour for a drink of water. When you're sick and your mouth is open. Your throat gets dry. I had a pitcher of water and a glass by my bed.

On my way to work today....I wanted to cry. I HAVE to work today. Its payday. Bills are right on the cusp of being cut off and I don't think I have time to wait for my paycheck to clear my bank. I called out yesterday and at my job...they don't take too kindly to people calling out a lot.

Charlie Brown...this is your life.

I was at work for 15 minutes when my boss told me to go home. When I went to give her a hug...she ran from me. Guess I really DO look like death.BestFriend is here armed with VapoRub, Airborne, and other stuff to get me well....

I miss my A/C....


Frank Leon Roberts said...

I hope you recover real soon, we need soldiers like you in the struggle.

much love
frank (baby's daddy, lol)

Juicy said...

How did you find me, papa? *wink*