Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Internet Dating + Being a Big Girl

I am a "big girl." Mostly, I don't mind. I used to when I was a child and people picked on me incessantly. That is, until my tongue became super sharp and my fists real quick.

I'm sitting in the hair salon and this chick is like a size 26 and she's defending herself HARD.
"I walk everywhere I go," she says as she's eating a bag of chips, "I'm active. I don't stay one place for long."

"Why are you big?"

"I think I have a thyroid problem"

I WISH someone would ask me that shit. BITCH, why are you black?

I've played soccer, rugby, and run track. I've never been smaller than a 14. At a size 18 now, I long for those size 14 days...I know unless something drastic happens, they are gone forever. My sister is 55 years old and has maintained a size 4 her entire adult life. Some people are just meant to be big, small, blonde, black, or whatever.

I really wanted to tell her to stfu.
Own your shit. Dress to accentuate your body.

And stop eating chips and cookies while talking about your weight. Its counterproductive. Lol

Anywhosies...I'm on and the men on there. Yo! I wish I could post some of the pictures. I think I'm the problem. I'm hella picky and I actually want a man that uses proper punctuations and can spell. Not spelling bee words but words you may use in regular conversation and I'm sorry using "dat" instead of "that" at age 29 is inexcusable. It speaks to your character. Man up!

I looked at the pics of me n Aussie on my FB. I couldn't bring myself to delete them or change my status. I looked at the pics of Afroman and I. Didn't want to take those off either. I looked at his profile. He has a pic of him and the gf. I almost cried instantly. Just when I thought I was over it. I miss my friend. FB is the devil in a blue dress.

Hmmm. Any male bloggers out there secretly in love with me ala Chris, lol......

What else...
Thanks for the love and concern. I think I'm fine. I'm not suicidal. I'm just trying not to fall into a destructive pattern like I almost did last night...trying to fuck the pain away. Even though that does sound good right about now....


Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


JaeSpenc said...

lol... GIRL!!!! I'm hear everything you're saying... As far as being a big girl and talking about all you do and eating an entire bag of softbatch cookies... Boo... lol

I'm "dieting" right now... but my friends at work and I will start talking about food and it's almost spiritual! lmaooo.. I always say 'I don't have a thyroid problem, I have a MOUTH problem." lol

Dating sucks. I feel ya on the looking @ pics of your ex and getting sentimental. I almost became a cyber stalker of mine ( kidding ) but I realized that everytime I looked @ his pic or new girlfriends pics or whatever, it just hurt ME. And I was pretty sure he wasn't doing the same for me. So I stopped... Seriously... just YESTERDAY I stopped (lol)...

(damn this is long)

I thought I was the only person who looked RIGHT PAST people who type in slang. I mean, if we know each other, and we're cool that's one thing... IF you're trying to catch my attention, and you've just read that I like " intelligent men", please don't say " whut it ilz mah"... UM what?

Good luck getting back on the horse..

Young woman on a journey said...

girl...i feel you on the use of language. now i am a poor speller, but whatever. i know that it takes more time to type dat than to type that. i hate when people text in that language. like use u instead of you. instant turn off. if you speak and write properly, there is no need for slang. and honestly, your profile on a dating site should be spell checked and not have all that slang.

i'm a big girl too. size 18. and it is what it is. i could lose weight, a bit, if i tried. its happened before. but i own my ish. i know i don't dress crazy and all in all, i've been getting better at being comfy with my body and loving it. i rarely get complaints and i date dudes who have never been with a big girl before. so...

glad you are doing okay! like i are awesome!

Trish said...

I agree with you on the spelling too! It's nice that technology has it so you can meet people from all over and possibly find a match that way.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

when i fuck it puts my partner in more pain

Monie said...

*looking at that last comment and smh*

Anyway...damn, I forgot what I was about to say...

ellie said... do have a wisdom to your words. Wishing you all the best to stay strong in everything you do.

Kofi Bofah said...

You want punctuation and proper spelling?

There is no spacing between your "paragraphs" sweetie.

I am just saying.

Either way - just be confident in your own self and that is True Beauty.

Anonymous said...

it is know that some dating sites turn blind eye to bogus profile in their books :)