Monday, February 16, 2009

Whoa nelly!

Damn, dating in New York is not supposed to be THIS tough.

So, I'm talking to this dude via e-mail back and forth. My new thing is not to get my hopes up when the guy could be a total asshole. Its like 1am but I'm like, call me.

Firstly...he's 6ft4 275lbs with long dreads down his back. Yum!

He sounds like he's my height.

Turn-off #1.

Ok, you don't have to sound like Isaac Hayes or Barry White...but it would be nice, lol.

We start talking. Dude is working late. Someone ticks him off. He starts yelling at whoever. I get scared because now his tone is like...he's irked.

Turn-off #2.
Keep ya cool.

Then he says he wants a long-term relationship but he wants a girl that's freaky. Girls be afraid to go down on they man. (His words)

I go silent.

He wants a lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

Silence

Why are you so quiet? Because, usually when people say they want a relationship, they usually don't want to talk about sex in the first 5 minutes of conversation.

Nah, yo, I do want a relationship but my girl gotta go down on me.

Usually, most women will do whatever is done to them. You go down on girls?

No. Never been down on a woman.

What!?! You're 34 right?

Yup. I'm 34 years old and never been down on a woman.

Wow. That might be your problem. You would have more luck if you tried it.

Listen. This is how I am and no bitch can change me. I don't do that shit...(Other crap he said)

Ummm...I'm gonna go. Its late. I need to try and sleep.

Yo, you not gonna call me. You just wanna get off the phone.

(I could feel a tingle in my shoulders)

Yea, you're right. *click*

Are you effing kidding me?! He's cute but NOT cute enough for me to be in a relationship where no one's kissing the cat. That one-sided bullshit is closed-minded at best and sooo annoying.

Yea, that's why you're single buddy, good luck with that!

Smh
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

7 comments:

Liz said...

was he serious? that is waaaaaaaaaack. but that would explain why he is single! uhg...

Liz said...
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Liz said...
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**Star said...

LOL!

Funny...
I'll bet he'll go back to his friends like "I don't know what happened"...

Young woman on a journey said...

um...

yeah. that's why he's single, and from the sounds of it, its not the only reason. wow. was he even trying?

Trish said...

You're better than me..I would have just hung up and turned my phone off! LOL

Monie said...

Catching up, catching up...this is soooooooooooo funny! LOL