Sunday, February 15, 2009

Silence Speaks to Whispered Thoughts

I have mourned loves
Have covered my mirrors in waiting
For what is next
I have sat still
Patiently
Til restless nights creep up and whisper into window panes
Hunger pangs
This sadness
Speaks hollow words
Under orange moons of wanting
Never having

Enough


I say to weeping willow trees
Who cling on to my eyelashes
I am the ebony oasis in your midnight desert
Follow me.

I am tired of waiting for you
Hopeless love
I am tired of wanting you

Requite me to thine heart
I ask another again

And I am sick of the silence that burns deep within me
Within you

There will never be another us.

I seek another love.

Possibility holds my hand as I pursue
Another version of you
Convince them I am a better version of me
Another somebody they will eventually tire of trying to figure
This shit out

I would send you forget-me-nots but I forgot the address to
Wasted time
Lost potential for relationships I cried not for
For that would mean
Wasted tears

I've died a thousand deaths only to discover that before I die
I shall let go
Of that notion of you
That version of me I wanted you to see
Wanted you to love
Wanted you to call your own and make a home inside of me

One day. I will forget you.

Yet, I see your face in my memory as clear as the sun before me
I pray to the god of expectation
To renew my hope
My belief in the fit of two hearts together

I've broken a thousand hearts to discover before my hearts breaks again that it will never mend

The same.

I am the perpetrator of perfectionism
The mistress to deception

I've believed a thousand lies to know the ventriloquist is the first to believe his own illusion

I've had my heart broken a thousand times to know what it means to be split in two.

And I scold myself for reaching for you
Amongst empty promises and words cast about like forgotten toys
My heart still sings you lullabies at night.

One day. I will remember to forget you.

I am the black owl hooting in the night
I am the kingless queen
Everwaiting
Everwanting
Everknowing

One day it will be alright.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

4 comments:

Solomon said...

Very touching Nina!

JaeSpenc said...

absolutely love this...

Young woman on a journey said...

this is very very nice. i love it. i echo the other two comments

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

I hear ya, girlie. Great expressive piece.