Sunday, March 7, 2010

What About Your Friends?

Friendship is a gift not bestowed on many..not by me at least. I can literally count on 2 hands, the people I call friends and on 1, out of those people who I would call if I were in any trouble and I knew they would come through.

Gi is not on the 1-hand list. In fact, thinking about our friendship, it makes me think about how long it would take me in a serious relationship to marry someone. Every man that comes into Gi's life is automatically number 1. Instantly. This guy is irking me. Not jus tbecause he's NOT cute or he sells drugs or anything...I feel something else is going wrong.

Gi is my ultimate reminder to take it slow with men.

SO....she offered for me to go to Florida with her for her birthday but bumped me to go with him. I'm not upset she bumped me. I was going to bump myself. Money is increasingly more funny and that's no joke but I asked her if she thought 4 months was too soon to go on a romantic vacay with a guy.

Her response: I'm grown and I wanted to get away.

My response: *blank stare*

I told her that even grown people make mistakes but I wouldn't be a friend I weren't bringing up a valid point.

She went on to say that he's going into an inpatient rehab (supposedly only for weed) to avoild a jail sentence for the drugs he had on him. I think that's funky and if he had crack on him and he used the excuse he was buying it instead of selling it, I do not see NYC or NYS sending him to rehab without crack in his system. She assures me, he doesnt do crack.

Gi is 28. She's not married, no kids, not in her desired career field and she sees every man she dates as the one who will give her what she wants...but she's not seeing that this dude will bring more misery than joy if he doesn't really change.

I feel as though sometimes, my girl friends see me as the lonely sexless fat girl. They've remarked that I give the wrong people the time of day and the ones I should try with, I discard them and then eventually, I discard them all. I often worry about that as well.

I'm trying to use this celiacy to gain wisdom about where I fall short.

More and more, I've found myself becoming a recluse...shutting myself off at will to the world for no apparent reason. I know that this behavior is dangerous. I try to figh it..but, man...!!!

Back on to the topic at hand, I've decided to leave the girl alone and let her do whatever she wants. If she can't see that the past 5 relationships she's had have started and ended the same way...I can't tell her anything!

I'm going to mind my own neck.

and not take advice from her.

what else is going on inside this head of mine?

so so will come out in its own due time.


belle said...

I can SO relate to this post. I used to be a social butterfly, but a series of (failed) friendships have left me a recluse. I really don't like being like this, and I suppose its easy to become one because I have a boyfriend who is fast becoming my best friend.
What can I say, people scare me!

As for your friend, I had a train-wreck of a friend too, and stopped giving advice after a while. The more advice you give, the more likely she'll label you a "hater". She'll learn eventually...

Young woman on a journey said...

i agree with belle. stop giving gi advice. its too much. she's a train wreck and all you can really do is continue to be there to pick up the pieces.

well, you aren't teh only fat sexless recluse. lol. so don't sweat it. even if that's what other think, as long as you aren't rushing into disasters who cares. you'll get back out there when its right for you. and even if you dont' recognize it, the celibacy has made you much wiser with how you choose to share yourselff and with whom you chose to share yourself. and that's wisdom those around you don't have, hence the train wrecks.

Trish said...

I have learned to do this with my friends. One of my BFFs is planning to change her life very drastically for man, but decided to just try and be happy for her. The only person's lives we can control is ourself and I've learned to take that in stride.