Friday, August 17, 2007

Say its anything but love!

my favorite phrase just jumped up and popped into my head. "Never love a pretty man because he stores his love on the highest shelf of his heart, where you can never reach it." -- Author Unknown

Maybe this has nothing to do with anything. But after I remembered I knew that quote, I thought of Afroman. It's not that he is sooo pretty and so handsome that women throw themselves at him. They do. Being the lad that he is, he's oblivious. Why did I think of him? We're not wired the same at all. I pour love on him like syrup over pancakes. He doesn't withold his love. It just comes out differently, I suppose.....Oh! I don't know.

I told myself I don't go back to old boyfriends. They are trouble trouble trouble!
I don't want to be with him, except I do. I want a relationship without the excessive phone calls, constant dates, and all the other stuff that goes with. But, I want to know he will be there.

He is there. But, I want him to be there in a different way maybe. I feel foolish saying this.

I find things in him that are different from anyone I've ever met. I find new reasons in him to surrender my heart. But, I'm terrified to go there aagain. We went there before and it ended not bad or good. It ended and I was devastated and felt powerless. I didn't know what I did wrong.

After all this, I still love him.

Love does a judo chop to the mind! Ah-ya!

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