Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm Kinda A Big Deal

Since no one likes my "to be continued" stunts..this post reads like a mini-novel.

I don't think I'll ever have a quiet weekend again, lol

Friday, I was soooo upset! Without getting into the painful details...both of my accounts are overdrawn by at least $100 and it was either have my entire part-time paycheck be eaten up or go to a Check Cashing place. I hadn't been to one in YEEEEARS! But I went. And so, here's the thing...I had two checks. One was my straight check and the other was for hours they forgot to pay me.

So, I go and the ADP check is fine and the other won't process, meaning, they can't verify the funds...

Hunh?

Yes, d-r-a-m-a!

So, anyway...I'm all depressed. Not sure of what to do. So, I work..watch youtube videos of make-up artists demonstrating their stuff. It lifts my mood a bit. I go home and wash my brushes because I have a photo shoot on Sunday.

Saturday, I was supposed to pull look for the shoot. My editor calls and says there's a BBC for 7days7nights.com and we should go - good networking. I'm down.

So, we leave from the far side of Brooklyn, after playing stylist in a hot boutique shop to go to Harlem. 139th Street. And.....

Womp womp womp

The Networking BBQ looks like a children's party. There are a couple of cuties sprinkled in there but idk no one of real importance.

There was ths 6 year old girl dancing like a stripper. I wanted to pull her by her hair off the dance floor.

So, JFS gets on twitter and finds out there's a bbq in Queens that we NEED to be at.

So, we get on the train to go downtown to go uptown to Queens. Yes, muy complicated. We stay on the train for an hour and a half and then walk 20 blocks in Jamaica, Queens to this damn party.

Oh em gee! I was like, on the real, JFS..this needs to be the best party I've ever been to! She was crackin up.

So, we get there and its a backyard bbq to end all backyard bbq's. Firstly, the house is huge. Secondly the backyard is MASSIVE. They had 5 stations where you sit in a nice leather chair and play racing, Mortal Kombat or something, and all sorts of stuff. It was amazing. There were some major hotties, too. I could've gotten a few numbers but I was like ehhhhh...I would just be getting it to get it and it would end up being annoying.

This dude was like trying to clown JFS on the way she was dressed. She (who is a crazy potty mouth) was like "Yo, son! Hop off my nuts. I'm kinda a big deal. Google me mutha******)

It caught me off guard. I burst out laughing so hard.

Editor wanted to use the bathroom. Duuuude! The bathroom line was sooo long. We were on the line for like 20 minutes WHEN these two girls got into an argument over one of the girls taking to long in the bathroom. Mind you, its at someone's house and there was only one bathroom for men and women.

Yea.

This party had 200 people easily.

One of the girls maces the other. And then maces inside the bathroom so no one can use it.

While this is going on, this chick who is a friend of the family thnks she is running things. She is tiny tiny. Like a size 0. and short like 5"3ft and she had on 4inch heels.
She's trying to skip the line and the chick who got maced is like....

"That bitch...that bitch...that bitch..." choking trying to tell her which girl maced her.
Running things chick is like...who she calling a bitch? Trying to get all up in her face..people are pulling her back. I hope she was drinking and that's why she was acting stupid. Smh. She was so adorable too.

So, because of the mace situation, someone called the cops. JFS kept saying someone would drive us home. So, we walk to her friends' car. It was 3 of them, 3 of us..it would've been tiiight. So, we had to walk the 20 blocks back to the train. Did we mention it was 3am?

Uh, yea...so we start walking. As we're walking, this dude tries to talk to JFS. Another dude staggers over like, "You guys good? Is he bothering you?"

We look at him, like...are you serious? Smh

So, JFS gets the number and we continue on. More dudes hit on us but we keep it moving because its dark. Apparently, people don't believe in more than one street light per block. One dude grabs JFS. While some dude is like, "Hi," to either me or Editor. We're standing side by side. Turns out..JFS knows him. *whew*

She starts talking to him. This chick TALKS! The dude that says hi to us, tries talking to Editor. He's from the South. He's really nice. He lives outside the house we're standing in front of. He offers us to go see his garden in his backyard. Uh, yea..its pitch-black back there and it 3am! No.

Editor keeps shooting him down. Its hilarious. He keeps staring at me saying how familiar I look to him. He's a mailman. He doesn't ring a bell. For this purpose, let's call him SG for Southern Gentleman.

SG and JFS get into a random argument about her cursing. Literally, every other word out of her mouth is and F-bomb.
It was short-lived but JFS is still catching up with her homeboy.

Finally (!!) JFS is done talking. Her friend offers us a ride to the train. We're about to get in his car when she steps in a mud puddle. She's wearing sandals and her whole foot is covered in mud!

Yuck. Lol.

SG takes her in the backyard to hose off her foot. Editor and I are annoyed and tired. I'm kinda sick of hearing her talk.

After a couple minutes, Editor and I want to check on JFS. I mean, SG is nice buuttt we don't know him. He could be a murderer. So, we go in the backyard and JFS is laughing hysterically. She looks like a child being hosed off. She's like...oooh the rushing water feels so good...ooooh. We ask SG if we can use his bathroom. Its a loooong way back to Brooklyn. He obliges us.

His house is such a man's house, lol. That's all I will say. Editor goes in the bathroom. I sit down on his bed next to him. (The only place to sit.) We'd been on our feet since 1. We're exhausted. I get a good look at SG. He has beautiful light brown eyes. Not bad looking. We joke about Editor. How he didn't stand a chance. He says he can tell I'm nice. He has Uno cards. He asks if I will play with him one day. I was like...NO...Brooklyn is a long way to travel to play Uno with him. He's like...I'll pick you up. I have a car. Its not that far from here.

I say okay and take his info to FB him.

I go in and use the bathroom. I turn the knob to wash my hands and it breaks off in my hand. I stand there, my mouth wide open like...oh shoot! I tell him. He's like...I offer you my hospitality and you break my house down. He starts laughing. it needs to be replaced. Editor starts laughing at me, too.

She says I looked like a little kid who did something wrong and was going to get in trouble.

He fixes it.
We walk outside. SG walks us to the car. All of a sudden, he takes my hand and starts dancing with me in the street. Its so random and cure at the same time. He kissed my hand. He hugs me and kissed me on my forehead, really close to my eye. He's like, my bad...lol

So, I kinda like SG but don't want to be 2nd choice...I mean...come on! Any suggestions??

We finally get in the car and pull off. Out of nowhere, JFS' homeboy stops the car and hops in the back with us. He lays across all of us. Dude is like 200 pounds of muscle. His head is literally on my chest. So, me being me, I start playing with his face. I poke his ears. I squeeze his nose and lips together so he can't breathe. He's like, why you trying to kill me. I was like, 'cause, I don't even know your name and you're at second base already. Everyone laughs.

I start pinching his nipples...(Umm, yea...don't ask) and I feel up his arms. Yoooooooooo! Dude is mad sexy! I'm like Editor, you need to squeeze this. She's like, Excuse me, Nina...squeeze what?! His arm! What kind of whore do you take me for? They all laugh.

We get out the car but not before si scratch my foot on some hard plastic panel in his car. We say our goodbyes and go down in train station as the train is pulling off...we sprint and get on the train and it sits there for 10 minutes.

Its 4:30am.

I get off the train as the rain begins to pour down. Great. I've been trying to conserve all the funds I have. Its after 5am, and I'm thinking of just taking the bus. I don't see any cabs. I stand at the bus stop as this dude eating a salad says hello to me.

I say hello. He's like you coming from the club? I nod. I don't do random conversations with strangers. He's like which club? I ignore him. He's a bouncer. He talks on and on about how he searches people really well or else they'll try to get guns and knives in the club. He's like he doesn't care. He'll go in their nut sack of a dude cuz that's where they hide stuff.

It begins to rain harder as I'm looking for a can just as hard.

He pulls out a knife and he's like I took that from someone tonight. I nod and slowly walk a good distance away. I hail a cab which drives 90mph and almost takes me down the wrong street. He overcharges me as he stops in the middle of the street to let me out. I get home. Its 5:30 am. I am just thankful to be home in one piece!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

3 comments:

Young woman on a journey said...

so jealous of your eventful weekends? now info on sunday please!

Jane said...

you know if you cash a check at walmart they charge you $4....no matter how much the size of the check...and the cash checks up to $2000!
I know because I had the same issue recently! LOL

Trish said...

Your weekend was so full and so much better than mine. I commend people in NY I can't imagine having to ride trains and walk all those blocks, whewwww!