The Story of 8 Strangers

I haven't watched the Real World since the last time it was in NY with Coral on it. This season, I decided to watch and I think it's interesting.

I don't remember the other seasons, the kids being so young. Like they're barely the legal drinking age. I guess that's good for MTV because these kids are at the age where they'll sleep with whomever and make silly mistakes, however it would be cool if they had a Real World for the over 25 crew. I'm sure they would still be out drinking and carrying on but they'd have real worries like career and wanting to settle down.

Instead of Sex and the City, we have Gossip Girl.

I don't want to preach, tho...lol.

I find Ty (the black dude) very sexy. I just think its funny...in DC(!!) he doesn't fall for a black chick. DC of all places! Lol.

Stay tuned for random thoughts...starting....

(Now)
I really really want to spoon and cuddle with someone I dig. I have a list if anyone wants to get me a nice birthday gift.

Funny thing, does Carter read my blog? He tweeted me last night. Something harmless. I feel bad. I don't actually like him. Nooot enough to me myself continuously reach out.

Honestly, I think I'm done reaching (I always say that.) I'm really good at spelling it out for people and yea, I'm retiring from pursuing. I want to be pursued.

I had a dream last night I was getting married. I walked down the aisle alone. My mom and I had a fight bc she wanted to walk me but in the end, I walked down by myself. Ever since my dad died, it was a passing thought - my wedding day but to see it....

Watching the Real World, I was a little jealous. Those kids seem so free. Not to pull the race card, but I feel like white kids have a freedom that black kids don't. We grow up being taught oppression - feeling it, seeing it, always knowing it. I want to be freeeeeeeeee!

I think my brother needs professional help. He has for a long time but as he gets older, idk...something's changing. He's lonely. He's so needy. He told me he loved me like a million times when I visited him for Christmas. Maybe I'm cold. Maybe, its his surroundings. He has no outlet. No hobbies. *shrug*

My birthday is quickly approaching. Every year, there are tears without fail. This year, I'm hoping they are good ones.

Above all, I think what I want most is for someone to take care of me. Without wanting retribution, without prodding...I just want to be in the arms of the one who loves me. There, I said it!
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