The Year of Yes + Alpha Males

so..where to begin?

(long one)

friday night i went for drinks with my editor, her bff, and a blogger. mucho fun. 4 young, black, independent entrepreneur women talking abt men and life. awesome. :)

one said she had her year of yes where she said yes to almost every dude who asked her out. she said she made some real connections and some of the men she still speaks to. it piqued my interest because i say no a lot. she said of course you say no within reason but for the most part saying yes means you're dating a bunch of men (dating not sleeping with) which means you don't fall into the trap most women do when men date a bunch of women and you don't get picked. you have options and you can really see who you like. it keeps things light.

i think i'm going to try it.

if you are a man in nyc, employed (or not within reason), sane, taller than me (i'm 5ft), have your teeth and can string a sentence together...let's go out...

tonight i went to first saturdays as i always do. this time i invited carter. i mean, he's in town and i wanted to meet him in person. i didn't think much of it. i also invited a bunch of my friends as well. he wanted to see the exhibits and i wanted to dance.

i knew hey sexy guy was going to be there and i didn't want to make it seem like we were on a date but i guess i kinda didn't care. i mean, we haven't spoken since before thanksgiving. he's boring and weird. it's not like it ever went past talking on the phone.

anyways...
carter was an hr and 15 mins late. and ya'll know how i feel abt lateness...(if you don't know) i hate it. i almost broke up with afroman because of it (now ya know, mama don't play.) he gets there and......

he's cuter in person and taller than i thought he would be. smaller too. i like big guys.
i was instantly attracted to him.

(he did explain that he got lost on the trains and he apologized profusely)

the first person we run into...is hey sexy guy.
carter and i were taking pictures of ourselves and directly in front of us was hs guy.

i kept it cool. introduced them and was chill. hs guy goes...you look great and smell good. i laughed and thanked him. carter got some wine and i ran into this chick i want to model for me..she's mad cool. introductions.

we walked around some more. we ran into this dude i used to know when i was 16. introductions, lol.

carter talks a lot. he has stuff to say but sometimes, i really wanted him to be silent. at some point, i zoned out and was staring at his lips and teeth. he has a nice smile and straight teeth. i just kept fantasizing about kissing him. half-way to shut him up, half-way because i haven't been kissed in a year. :-/

carter served in the military. he has 3 boys. the oldest is 7. he was married for 8 years. he's 27. it's kind of daunting to think of him in those stats because i guess he doesn't seem eligible. but...idk. didn't you hear, 42% of black women don't get married. (half-joking)

the men i want are not ready. maybe i'm not ready. (over-thinking)

i told him about my celibacy and losing my virginity early and other stuff. as the night progressed, we started touching each other more. me - his arm, him - my waist. during one exhibit, he stood behind me and put his arms around me. it felt good. i missed that.

i turned around. i looked him in the eyes.

(all intense-like)

(about to kiss him like kissing was about to go out of style)

and then...
the security guard said the museum was about to close. damn damn damn.

we got my coat. he was trying to look me in the eyes and i wasn't paying attention. he was like, what's wrong...you don't want eye contact with me>?

i said, i'm sorry and then i looked at him, really looked at him. he looked away. he said it made him feel some type of way.

it is freezing freezing freezing outside but we got to get him something to eat.
we walked to the train. as we waited he asked me if i were going to kiss him on the lips when my train comes...i thought that was cute. i did. but my lips were sticky bc of my lip gloss...i wanted to stay but couldn't. it was late and neither of us had cash on us.

i actually want to see him again. we'll see where this goes. he's in south carolina and we all know how i feel about traveling there...(no ma'am)

anyways, i need to date. and kiss people. :)