Sunday, January 31, 2010

Great Expectations

**There are 3 posts under this one. (I know they're hella long) but I need advice! So, please read! Thank you!**

My party is on Thursday (as is, my birthday) and I'm just so......
I don't know about it.

Everyone's apparently getting all decked out and going to the MAX and I wasn't expecting that. They say its because I'm a makeup artist and they know I'm gonna be fly.

I wasn't planning on it. Lol

I told one of the don't really understand my personality. I'm a nerd, a Star Trek geek. Yea, I do makeup but when it comes to me: pj's, Pepsi and a CSI marathon. She was like..."Yeah right."

So, that's another aspect of it I need to think about.

Olu is either really crazy or really into me.

Usually, its the former.
He told me he got kicked out of his house today. He's staying with a friend.

Its one thing to go in with someone and then the chips fall than to have them all fall when you meet them.

My friends are all telling me to run. They say I always have a soft spot for fixer uppers.

I told him I don't think we should try anything now. He has too much going on. Maybe he's not ready.

He said, "I'm not giving up. My situation does not define me as a man. Why should I give up? I like you. You stimulate every part of me. You're sexy, beautiful, smart and funny. Why would I just say okay and let you go?"

I said, "Just like you have trust issues, I have issues about always being the one who has it together. The other person in the relationship always becomes a burden to me. I can't go through that again. You will have to show me you're real."

He said, "You have to prove yourself to me, too. I see the potential in what we can be and I think we can work through our issues together."

He made a rather convincing case.
Editor was not convinced. She thinks I'm wasting my time. I told Editor, I will give him 6 months. I'll remain celibate (yay!) and if he doesn't have a job/apartment then I walk. I went through hell with Afroman when he didn't have it together only for him to leave and be with L and then suddenly do what he's supposed to...Time will tell.

Why do the crazy ones hold on with two hands and the sane ones don't lift a finger to make you stay?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


jaded said...

I see why you’d give it six months but…you’re having trouble letting go already, what makes you think six months from now you’ll be able to walk away like it was nothing? Time only makes things harder. But I’m sure you know that.

I don’t necessarily say count him out because he has the two kids (although it does say something about his behavior in the past. By this I mean: his gf cheated so, in order to get back or get over the hurt, he slept with someone else who he may or may not have loved…this is important.) Getting kicked out of a house? Now, I have no clue why, it’s hard to speculate but “kicked out” (as opposed to feeling like he had become a burden so he left) usually denotes there were some boundary issues. You’re celibate, are you at the point where you can handle someone who MAY have boundary issues?

Job searching. I’m sure you know more than anyone else how difficult it is to feel like you are keeping your head above water. Sometimes I read your blog and I see how hard you are on yourself, wondering when you’ll make it. I’m always excited that you bounce back. Can you deal with someone else transferring their feelings of failure on to you?

Whatever decision you make will be the right one I am sure.

But I feel like you were on the mark with telling him that you both weren’t ready.

Ps. I’m not sure two people can “fix” issues together. They usually have to be sorted out, and then maintained. If this makes any sense.

Young woman on a journey said...

okay, i'm late, but jaded said it all.

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