Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Phoenix Rising

And even after all that he did, I was not content to leave it alone. There's something in me that has to know that dead situations can not be resuscitated. Friday night, he called me at 8pm.

"Are you coming to my event?" The Nigerian asked.
"No," I answered directly.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."
"Ok," he hung up as I was about to say something else. I fumed. I called BFF. She fumed.
I called him back.

"How dare you hang up on me?"
"I didn't hang up on you.I though we were done."
I let him have it, questioning his intentions...charging him with accusations of only wanting me for sex and patronizing his events. I let off until I was done. He defended himself. I hung up on him, my patience short.

15 minutes later, his friend B called me, stating that TN was MIA for 2 days because he was helping him film and surely, I know what film sets are like, yes?
Yes, but just like I let TN know what I was doing, all it took was a simple text to let me know. B urged me to come to the event. It would mean so much to TN.

I relented.
I BBM'ed Brit what was going on and she said..."You can't break up with him every time you guys hit a rough patch."
She was right.
I showered, put on ample smell-good, a tight dress and some sexy makeup.I sashayed in the place with all eyes on me and my eyes were on him. His jaw dropped. B smiled.

"Hey there sexy. You did good," he said.

Did I?
I entertained the conversation of several men and women while TN played social butterfly, hosting, fluttering by me every now and again.

The bartender asked me to go home with him. I blushed.
"No, I'm with TN."
"That guy?" he said with disgust, "I know that guy. He's not with anyone. Trust me."

I shrugged. I watched as he and B went outside, thinking nothing of it until I was ready to leave. They were nowhere to be found. I dug out my phone which was under a washcloth, fresh pair of undies and some toiletries that I had in my bag.

"Went to shoot with B."

I text him back, furious that he left me in the middle of Brooklyn (albeit a gentrified safe part of Brooklyn) with a text message from across the room.

"I'm handling biz"
"I understand that but a simple goodbye would've been sufficient. You're not even wondering how I will get home."

He didn't respond and my new girlfriends urged me to join them at the bar down the street. I accepted as they sat me down trying to ease my tension with free strong drinks. I was hungry, my eyes searching for my next meal. I was resolving in myself to become a man-eater. A few caught my attention and I caught the attention of many. Of course, those whom I caught, I wasn't the least bit interested in them.

And so my new friend, K says.."Girl, you are too beautiful - too dope as a person to settle for less than you're deserving." EB must have told her what TN did that night and that was enough for her. "Look around you. These men are all staring. You have a power that they're aware of on a subconscious level. You need to use it."

She was saying things I needed to hear and on some level, she was right. I decided to sleep on it.

(to be continued)

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