I worry about what will happen to my blog if you know...I kick the bucket.
I worry about the people I will leave behind.
I worry if I've shown everyone enough love.
I worry about what will be left behind of my life.
I worry about being alone.
I worry about them reading the blog and seeing my unadulterated thoughts about them. Sometimes I can be harsh. Even harsh, I love everyone I've written about fiercely. I wish they all would do better.
I wish I could sometimes curl in bed with my mom and have her hold me. I wish I didn't have to do most things alone. I wish my back wasn't so strong.
I wish my sisters were around when I was growing up. I was such a lonely kid. I didn't have any real friends til high school. My friendship with junior high best friend was based on...nothing in the end.
I miss my dad every day. I imagine him strong and protective. I miss the sound of his voice. I no longer remember what it sounds like.
I have to rebuild myself. I can. I will.
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