Sunday, September 26, 2010

More Thoughts

I worry about what will happen to my blog if you know...I kick the bucket.

I worry about the people I will leave behind.

I worry if I've shown everyone enough love.

I worry about what will be left behind of my life.

I worry about being alone.

I worry about them reading the blog and seeing my unadulterated thoughts about them. Sometimes I can be harsh. Even harsh, I love everyone I've written about fiercely. I wish they all would do better.

I wish I could sometimes curl in bed with my mom and have her hold me. I wish I didn't have to do most things alone. I wish my back wasn't so strong.

I wish my sisters were around when I was growing up. I was such a lonely kid. I didn't have any real friends til high school. My friendship with junior high best friend was based on...nothing in the end.

I miss my dad every day. I imagine him strong and protective. I miss the sound of his voice. I no longer remember what it sounds like.

I have to rebuild myself. I can. I will.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

2 comments:

★Starrla Monae☆ said...

Nina dear you will LIVE. You will LIVE and you will be GREAT. You aren't going anywhere anytime soon.You've got too much left here to do. Your work here is not done. Please feel better soon!

Monique said...

Stop sounding like your saying goodbye. You have a cold. That's it. No negativity and farewells. Rest up.