i re-read the last post, specifically my feelings for tn and i really really sound pathetic. why pine for some who date-raped you? something has got to be missing inside of me. i need to figure out what that is and fill that void asap.
monday, he sent me that fb message:
I apologize for the way things are going between us, it is not that it is my wish
I responded with:
You apologize for the way things went but not how you treated me.
He never said anything back. He called me 2 days later....today, I made up my mind...this situation I'm in is kind of serious. Every aspect of my life has kind of shut down. I'm really going to have to rebuild everything...my body, my spirit, my self-esteem, my business...everything. I wrote him just a few minutes ago:
You are a very funny person, as you like to say.I could've handled the truth if you'd told me that all you wanted from me was sex. I would have respected you. You won't apologize for the way you treated me because you probably don't think you're wrong. I should have listened to you when you said so many times...you don't like anyone, you don't miss anyone. You have no idea what you see in me.The truth is...you are a coward. You said whatever you said and then cleaned it up. You are too frightened to say what you mean and mean what you say, plain and simple. You are too scared to open up even just enough so that I could see there was a persn in there. I learned my lesson. I'm letting you go.
I lingered over the "Remove from Friends" button for a few minutes and let my eyes well up and then I sucked it up and clicked it and his business partner too. I need to let go. I need to claw my way back to happy.