Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Just Pretty?

Break out the coffee, this is your morning reading for the'll be a long one...

Growing up a chunky chickadee, I was always uncertain about my beauty.
This was an age before Mo'nique telling us that skinny bitches are evil
or Toccara telling us that she would be the first plus-size supermodel.
This was an age where my relatives would feed me friend chicken, mac n
cheese, collard greens, and yams for LUNCH and then scold me by saying I
was always "big as a house" and that I would be so much prettier if I
lost weight.

I made sure I was smart, if not pretty. I was in all honors/AP courses
in school and in the top 10% of my class.

I didn't think I was pretty until I was 16 years old. I had been
involved in a grassroots movement for racial equality. Yes, these relics
of the Black Panther Party still exist and I was a dutiful member. I
learned about black history for the first time in a long time. There
were documentaries, news artcles, movies, a whole world of blackness
that went beyond my aunt's kitchen, the hot comb, learning Swahili in
elementary school, and Martin Luther King.

I chopped off all of my permed hair, sported a mean 'fro, and started
dressing differently. It was a confidence I had not yet known before.
The beauty I found was based on what I truly began to see in the mirror.
I was faced with some hefty opposition. My boyfriend of 3 years said
that he couldn't date a woman with natural hair. My mom said that
everyone would laugh at me. I should save myself the embarrassment.

But for the first time, I really could care less. I stopped eating meat.
I played sports. I felt great.

>>>> FFWD>>>

I started competing in balls/beauty competitions. The person I used to
be is inconsequential, but my confidence wanes from time to time because
of those past memories.

Needless to say, I have a brain. I have a "broad sense of humor" as LH
puts it. I have an opinion about everything. If it's something I haven't
heard about, I will research it and form an opinion on it.

RecentGuy after 2 weeks of "talking" almost all day with our thumbs
(sidekick), when asked what he thought of me, said, "You're so pretty."

I was floored.

"That's it?"

"You have a nice body, too"

I was in the basement.

And eloquently told him that if that's all he had to say he had missed
the point, wasted my time, and I no longer was interested in him. He was
floored. He called me "frigid."

He was indignant.

And now he's history.


LH said...

So is the idea that he was superficial?

Nina said...

Kinda. He just didn't get it. There wasn't much conversation anyway.But doesn't every woman want to be appreciated for her beauty AND brain.