totally different post.
I've been reading blogs by other women and they have strong feelings
against kissing and telling and it affected me. I didn't want to divulge
too much and seem like a whorra. I don't like being crass or vulgar.
But, you know....this is my blog. This year, I resolved within myself to
tell it like it is.
And with that.....the post that should've been on this blog last night.
Was it Good for You?
I called him as I approached my apartment full of hope and
"I'll be there in 40 mins. I'll call you when I'm on my way."
I squealed to myself. Finally, the fruition of our late night talks.
An hour barely passed and I got a call.
"I'm on your block."
I was totally unprepared. I hadn't lit the incense or selected a sexy
outfit. I brought him up to my apartment. He commented. He sat on my
couch. He immediatedly grabbed at my legs.
I kissed him. Gently.
He lunged at me, his tongue sticking out straight like a sword, slaying
the dragon that was my mouth. I think at one point, he licked my teeth.
He acted quickly. Taking off my clothes and buried his head in my chest.
Ouch. His beard scratched my skin. He's a biter.
From then, it didn't get better. It was awkward. At times, I felt like
he was examining me - like he had a checklist. Firm breasts, thick solid
thighs, nice butt..check.check.check.check. I always had that lingering
feeling from our conversations. Yet, physically, I was not attracted to
He is really hairy. His chesthair and backhair are so long, I could
braid it. A fact he didn't mention before. He's really really skinny.
With clothes on, he appears bigger because he puts on 3 layers of
clothes. A fact he didn't mention before. The two put together gave the
illusion that I was molesting a 12 yr old. (I know it sounds harsh...but
I'm a big woman. I like to feel submissive in the bedroom. He didn't
have the physical accomodations for that but even in his
attitude....close but no cigar.
At the end of it, I wanted to kick him out. Instead, I put on my clothes
and hoped he'd get the hint.
We watched *the full hour* of The Unit. (!!!)
I said I was tired to which he replied, "Oh that must be my cue."
After which he proceeded to use the bathroom before he left. (I still
can't believe this) He peed with the door open. It sounded like a
He said he'd call me today and I'm hoping not.
I tried being nice but I was so over it.
I can't hide anything on my face.
I had all these rules for relationships and had a vague idea of the guy
I'm interested in. He didn't fit the mold, yet I persevered. I now
remember why I had these rules.
I told my girl friends, next month this will all be hilarious!