Monday, June 22, 2009

Part Deux

I get to BFF's house and her friend C is not ready. She's dressed but her hair is still wrapped up and she's got no make-up on and they're eating.

Wtf? By this time, its 10:20. We were supposed to leave by 10. Yes I was late but I expected that BECAUSE I was late, we could roll out. I hate being dressed and then waiting.

C asked me to do her make-up and I didn't do as great as I'd hoped. In the middle of it, I knocked down BFF's shower curtain which caused C to be like...NINA DID IT so freaking loud that BFF and Yael ran in to see l the commotion which I promptly ran away and made her finish her own face.

>>>>

We get to the party and there's a lot more black people. We make jokes that the white people are uncomfortable. How does it feel to be the minority, sucka! I know, silly...

So, we all migrate to a club where SB has reserved bottle service and a VIP table.

Oh Em Gee

The dj was whaaaackkkkkkkk.
Stay Club on E Houston and Avenue A (which is in a trendy part of town) had the worst DJ. Seriously, he played Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell, James Brown, Montell Jordan...it was surreal. The only current songs he played was Lady Gaga "Let's Dance" and Lil Wayne "Millionaire" and the Lil Wayne song was per our request. He only had that one song.

Umm...yea...ok.

In the midst of it all, you have this guy let's call him D-bag! Dbag was one of 2 other black dudes there, well other than SB. One had a girl who I swear had herself permanently sewn to her man's crotch. Another dude who was so wasted by like 11pm, I'm not sure if he remembers anything. Dbag had on a button down, some tight high-water pants and some boat shoes.


Dbag had a stack of 50's and 20's he kept pulling out all night. He said things to really get the ladies interested. Things like...

"Oh I just can't help myself. I joined Ballers Anonymous but I can't keep my identity a secret."

"My pants are too tight. I had my tailor hem my pants this high so you can see my shoes. Do you like them?"

The best of it all was:
"I routinely pay for pussy."

To which C says..."That's dangerous."

"Yea, I know but it feels so good. So what do you say we get a hotel room and I pay you for your time."

C doesn't miss a beat.
"You can't afford me."

"I make 6 figures."

"That's not enough."

I was laughing so hard like are you serious?

So we asked SB how old Dbag was and where he worked.

Goldman Sachs and he's 23. Dude...no way he's making 6 figures...maybe 90k or low 100's at max.

So what..he's still an a-hole, I say. Smh

To be continued...yes, there's more!

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2 comments:

Young woman on a journey said...

ugh...they look mad cornball

Be one with the Fro said...

I routinely pay for pussy hahahahaha

let me meet this fellow so he can routinely pay off my bills. oops did i just say that hehehe