I don't wanna write this down. Wanna tell you how I feel right now...tomorrow may never come. For you or me, life is not promised. My umi says shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see...I put my heart and soul into this ya'll...Tomorow may never appear. You better hold this moment so very close to your heart. Mos Def, Umi Says.
I have my period. Today is the first day which means I'm all emo. Smh.
I have a lot going on and each day I add more. I woke up this morning with some things on my mind. A hymn - Jesus is a Friend sung by a pastor in my church who has a gospel cd. I also had an idea for sugar scrubs.
Maybe the hymn was a sign to place more on Jesus' lap.
I love my gchat convos with Liz and YW. They inspire me in ways that my other friends do not - as if they see the possibilities. Maybe they humor me and my other friends don't. Maybe they believe in me while my other friends don't. Who knows?!
If you can't tell this post is going to be random...
I was trying to write a sex scene on the train just now and I couldn't. Tears came to my eyes. Is that melodramatic or what? Its epic!
I miss more than sex. I miss more than that. I miss connecting with another human on that level. Its not lost. It will happen. The more time that passes, the more I am less concerned with the when and more with the who. I have to catch myself from constantly searching.
I no longer have those silly lists girls make about their ideal mate.
I have standards, yes. Its just a feeling I get now.
I still have my profiles on POF and another site. Dudes hit me up and I read their profiles and just know.
Besides the waterworks during the writing, its god. I'm noticing a lot of my writing is surrounding family. A mother killing a daughter. Sisters killing each other. Abandonment issues surrounding parents. And I thought the only therapy was during blogging, lol
All for now...
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