Tuesday, August 18, 2009


For the past three weeks, I haven't been able to sleep until 4 and 5am. Saturday, I was out til 6am. I stayed up and went to church for 9am. Got home at 10:30. Crashed. Woke up at 6. Talked to twin til about 9:30. Went to sleep. Woke up at 8 on yesterday. So, I thought that maybe my sleep pattern had finally gotten back to normal. Nope. 4am found me struggling to sleep. This was after a 4mile walk with J across NYC. I was so tired in my body but my mind was like a child that wanted to keep playing. Hyper. Hyper. I wanted to bash my head against a wall.

So, I get to sleep and I dreamt that I was competing against the transman's (I think I'll name him Vice) ex who is a major contender in my category. She's been in it for over 10 years. She spit in my face and I beat her so bad people had to get me off of her. The force of whomever pulling me off of her woke me up. Crazy.

Which reminds me...Sunday, I had a dream that people kept coming to my house and I would give them food and blankets. These people were homeless or poor. In the dream, I was asleep and I woke up to find these 3 random girls from my childhood in my living room. They said my mom had let them in. They were eating hot dogs or something. I told them to leave. As they were leaving, the dude whose lap I was sitting on was at my door. He was homeless. I gave him some blankets and food. I gave him a key (!!!) to my apartment. Then, scared, I went back to sleep with a machete in my hand. I was so freaked out, I woke up.

Twin says I should be evaluated. My dreams are always vivid. He swears I'm on something...lol.
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