Wednesday, August 12, 2009

reciprocal

so.................................................................
i was kind of in a good mood yesterday. the only thing that brings me joy these days is make-up. funny funny.

it was a gawgeous evening. i asked bff to come out and just walk around the city with me.

she hemmed and hawed until i was like...forget it. she was like, oh tomorrow...we'll do whatever you want.

i flashed to last week thursday when i was on my way home. she asked me to come over to her house. i gave her fever because it was late and i was tired. but i went. it was a total waste of my time because she was on the phone with her cousin and she had something on her mind but it was taking the jaws of life to pry it out of her. nevertheless, i was there.

that was the same night i yelled at her. i was frustrated. i was like...BFF What's going on in my life? She blinked and said she didn't know. i thought i had gotten through to her but then she went on to talk about something else going on with her.

i think God is teaching me something....SELF-RELIANCE and the meaning of RESILIENCE. or maybe He's trying to get me to talk to Him more. what ever the case is...i'm learning. each and every day i choose to go on, i'm learning more and more.

so...anyway...i went for a walk by myself and i stopped at union square and sat down and wrote some poems which i will post shortly.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think God is trying to get you to see that BFF is not your BFF. Your BFF listens to YOU and cares about YOU too. It's not a one-sided relationship. Be honest with her and straight up tell her she is NEVER there for YOU. NEVER listens to YOU. NEVER cares about what you are going through. NEVER tries to help YOU out. TELL her this and if she corrects herself, she truly is your BFF. If she doesn't, you will know to move on and let her go.

neemie said...

i agree with anonymous. perhaps it's time to make some better friends. i've had friends like these and eventually i had to get rid of them. friendship is a two-way street just like any other relationship.