I know I'm blogging a lot...there's a lot going on and I need to document it. Maybe I shouldn't also do the blog challenge, but I've already committed to it..I don't know. We'll see.
Read Phoenix Rising first before this post.
Saturday
I awoke some time Saturday afternoon with a fire in my belly. I read Gorgeous Puddin's comment over and over. I rolled what K told me over and over in my head. I wasn't convinced that I was done yet. I've dealt with some pretty stagnant relationships..both mine and my friends and I know enough to know that YOU have to be done with those situations before they are over.
And so, when Wynsters called to go to her friend's housewarming party, I welcomed the distraction. My mind has been elsewhere lately. Beyond TN, beyond everything going on with me. My house is a mess and my mind is just as scattered. As I was getting ready, the top to my fan fell off. I went to turn the fan another direction while not looking and my fingers got caught in the blades. 3 of my fingers were cut but the middle one has a deep gash in it that didn't stop bleeding for at least an hour.
The housewarming party pretty much sucked giving me and Wynsters time to talk. She is totally disgusted with TN and although she is as sweet as pie, she vows if she ever saw TN, she'd curse him to his face. Afterwards, we met up with Wynsters' boyfriend, The Grecian. I told TG what happened and he said some pretty poignant things:
-Why are you with someone who is not nice to you - not even on a friendship level? I wouldn't do that to my friends.
- Why are you messing around with crazy men?
- Why are you taking things so seriously? You are young. You still have time to explore and experiment and most men your age just want to have fun. He's saying he wants a relationship but his actions say that he wants to have fun with you, get up and have you go your separate ways and then call you 2 weeks later to do it again. It doesn't seem like you're up for that so just leave him alone. Just stop. Stop. Stop taking his calls. Stop.
He kind of shook me.
1 comment:
That's why I ended my comment with I hope didn't offend because that was not my intent. I agree with the things K and TG said.
I've been in your shoes. I've allowed a man to not treat me well in the past and it really damaged my self esteem for a while! When real love came I was almost too damaged to see it or feel it and almost missed out...
So I just want to save you from the same heartache/headache since its still early. I feel like you have time to escape before you get too caught up and waste years of your life. I wasted years trying to make other dude love me. YEARS!
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