Friday, January 9, 2009

What Happens to a Dream Deferred?

I was walking down the street as determined as Beyonce in several of her videos to my own version of the WonderWoman theme and this thought popped up in my head -Afroman and I were supposed to be in L.A.living a blissful life together.

The thought came out of nowhere and stunned me.

I thought of pillow dreams we feed lovers, or as ladies, get fed and it amazes and sometimes amuses me to think what if?

I was proposed to twice. By the same manchild. We were high school sweethearts. He cheated on me and chose to be with the school slut who used him for his parents' money. But, who's really paying attention? The first proposal was because he "couldn't imagine life without me." The 2nd, because he needed a green card. Or maybe both for the same reason. And yes, like Young Woman (YW), men break my heart and then tell me how great I am. Hindsight is 20/20..he's an asshole. I wouldve been divorced by now. *shudders*

Afroman and I wouldve been in Long Beach, L.A., or Venice Beach eking out a living somehow, full of love for each other.

Another bf wanted to have dozens of children with me.

And Aussie wanted to move in.

Funny how things work out. In the moment of all these relationships, I truly believed we would have this life together.

I just hope that one day, one dream will become reality.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

2 comments:

CurvyGurl said...

Hey Nina! Try not to stress about it (I know that's not always easy). I wish the lightbulb moment had of taken place for me earlier...believe me, you have plenty of time. Your feelings are shared by more of us than you know.

Young woman on a journey said...

i agree with curvy. i'm hurt and confused yeah...but in the end everything happens for the best. and even if it doesn't seem like for the best, accept it as such cause you can't change it anyway