Friday, August 14, 2009

The Girl in the Bubble

I got up today with a bit more fight in me. A bit more joy. I talked to a friend about what I am feeling in an honest and candid way. She said some things that were encouraging like in a real soul-hug way. If you know me, you know that I deflect. I never talk about myself in fluorescent lights (meaning where you see everything.) So, it was good to have some that I don't really know like that be that encouraging and warm.

So, I got up, showered and did my make-up which looks effing hot!

I put on a short skirt which I've only worn like twice. I feel so weird in it. Headed out the door. BFF's friend Toni texts me out of the blue.

T: We need an intervention for our girl.

Me: Why?

T: She's still seeing Punjabi.

Me: I kinda figured

T: No I KNOW. I'm sick of her being so gullable. I'm tired of this shit. I love her dearly. She is like my sister, but her and there relationships with men that treat her like shyt is really bothering me

Me: Let me tell you exactly what I think....I'm tired. I have been there for BFF even in times that you were not. I have spent hooooouuuuuurrrrrs talking to her. Trying to talk sense into her. I'm all talked out. So...what do you want to do? Take her phone? Lock her in her room? Went thru this w/ExHusband and now Punjabi. Until BFF gets some self-esteem. Until she gets a backbone, there will be another one like this. I kept asking her why...she doesn't know. So, I don't know. What I do know is that I can't change someone. They have to change themselves. I can't fight someone for themselves. So, I offer my ear. My opinion. But it doesn't matter

T: I feel the same. From now on I am going to tell her that unless she makes a change within, she always stay in the situation. I have known BFF longer than anyone, and for as long as I have known her she has always been the type to bend over backwards for other people, and over the course of recent years she has let people break her back. I just don't want to hear anything about Punjabi or ExHusband EVER again! The reason why I limit myself and why she will tell you things, and eventually tell me is because I don't make time for BULLSHIT! And she knows my personality! It has just been bothering me with the recent situation

Me:I know this. Maybe you're right. Maybe I put up with bs from her. I have my own issues w/her right now. I'm going thru some major SHIT in my life right now. Does she care? No. She only calls to talk abt her problems. So...maybe I need to get over it. But, for now I just need space from the whole thing.I don't have any fight left. Not even for myself. So...I'm working on that

As I'm texting Toni. I get on the bus to get to the train. This guy has been eyeing me on the bus. He get off the same stop as me. I get nervous. I've been stalked before. Its not nice. I'm just happy I'm not going home this time. I try and walk slower. He falls back.

He finally says. "You are very beautiful. Can I talk to you?". He has a thick accent. I'm not pleased. I hate all accents except )(some)British and Bermudian accents. Hmmm...I'm prejudice but I can't help it.

I say, "No thanks." I walk away.

He says, "I have a big dick. Can I have your number now?"

Before I could turn around all the way, he was about to cross the street but missed being hit by a car by a hair.

Divine intervention? Lol

What the eff is wrong with people?
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1 comment:

Young woman on a journey said...

this gave me a laugh that i really really needed today. i hope you cracked up later. cause that was just um...special. the part about the big dick of course.

i don't know what to say about the bff situation. only that its best to let her learn these lessons herself, even if it takes forever. cuase the only thing i see emerging from pointing these things out to her is resentment.