Saturday, December 13, 2008


I'm drunk with sadness in my fortress of solitude. I've spent the last few hours in silence staring at the ceiling, hoping something would make some sense to me.

An hour and a half passed, Aussie's phone went straight to voicemail when I called him. Something said, call him back. It rang like 10 times, then voicemail. As soon as I hang up, I get a text from him.

A: We can chill tomorrow if you want.
Me: Why didn't you pick up when I called?

10 minutes later.

Me:Honestly, Aussie, this is not working for me. You changed. I have no idea why or if this is the person you always were. I changed, too. I'm picking fights with you and arguing and that's not even me. This doesn't make sense. I want to break up. We're better off as friends.
A: Ok.
Me: All you have to say to me is ok?

And reluctantly the tears came. Only a few and it was out of resentment, anger and disappointment.

I have been let down so many times by men, it is ridiculous. I'm sick of it. Still, I'm trying to hold on to a modicum of sanity and strength. I'm trying to rest assured that all men are not like this and that in the beginning, I was floating on air. I was happy once. I was able to forget and above all, I was hopeful.

And in the end, there is just silence. (He still hasn't responded)

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


Kenya Says said...

Wow- keep your head up...there are some good ones out there and I'm confident you and I shall both find that special 1 of our own! :o)

Trish said...

There is a man out there for you who will be consitent. You will both love and accept each other and it will be an even playing field. Breaking up is the worse though. I've found that alot of men play the nonchalant role once you tell them its not working. I hope you feel better soon.

Jane said...

girl don't let this one fish get you down... i know it's hard to imagine it now...but you will meet on that wants to give you what you're looking for....

Laura said...

Find your own happiness first. Then find a man later.