As quiet as its kept, I've achieved a lot academically. And, I couldve achieved more....if only....I had the funds.
It pains me that I don't have a degree and that my life will be that much more difficult for me to advance in life because of it.
Last night, feeling feverish, I crashed a party of a junior investment banker at CitiGroup. One who hadn't been laid off and whom at the age of 23, makes double my salary + $10k for extra measure a year. And he's totally tall, dark and handsome. Like I like 'em. I've had a crush on Casey since high school.
He was the same dude I remember. Warm and sweet. I took his number. I really want to get to know him more. Trying to figure out how I can get in there.
BFF got so drunk she ended up throwing up in a bag in a cab on the way home. And let's just say these things: 1. She owes me dry cleaning for my coat 2. She owes me $17.50 for the cab ride 3. I'm pretty sure I touched her spit/vomit with my bare hands while trying to make sure her face was in the bag all the way so we didn't get stranded in the city at 2:30am. 4. Her friend since elementary school is an asshole who didn't help at all. I wanna slap that bitch...but, oh did I mention that she's Casey's close friend. He calls her his sister and will do anything for her.
Yes...this is my fuckin life.
Today, I didn't want to go out. I wanted to be laid up. With Aussie. Then a light bulb went off in my head. He didn't call me last night. The last (I dunno....10) times we've spoken have been initiated by me. I wanted to see if he would call me. If he did, we were gonna get it in.
Alas, 7pm hit and no call. Around 8:30p, I text him.
Me: I don't understand you. Why haven't you put forth an effort to see me?
:A: You haven't called me all day.
.Me: Yup. I wanted to see if you were going to make an effort to reach out to me
I've made up my mind. I'm sick of begging for attention. I feel as though he doesn't care and is careless when it comes to me.
I was talking to one of my gay friends.
He was like: LET ME GUESS... HE BROKE AND CANT DO MUCH! WANNA MAKE YOU FEEL BAD THAT YOU DO ALL THIS STUFF, AND HE CANT DO MUCH FOR HIMSELF OR YOU! SO HE PUT THAT SHIT ON YOU.
My mouth was open.
(Did I mention yesterday's argument was about him not picking up my phone calls. I called him out on it. He said...who am I to question him. When he has no idea what I do when I get off work. WHAT?)
So.................it's now its 9:45p. Its literally freezing temperature outside. I'm alone in the house with no intentions on going out. I'm listening to Kanye's 808's Album, being sad.
If he ever responds to me, I'll post it.
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