Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Under rocks, Shit in the Bathtub, and Pink Polka Dot Galoshes...

I've been out of the loop and under a rock for the past 2 days. Kind of
not purposefully. I could've written a post on my sidekick while in
bed...or at the computer desk last night, but.....I didn't. Yes, I know
Captain Obvious.

I got a kitten.

Her name is Gypsy. She is gorgeous and frustrating. Loveable and

The first night she cried and cried and cried. I had to sleep in the
living room. Imagine, being held hostage out of your own bedroom by a
2pound cat. Unthinkable. She finally came along...peeing on the carpet
and things of that nature. I've been trying to get her to use the litter go.

I was suppsed to get this tooth taken out of my mouth. Once and for all.
But, I knew. I knew something wasn't going to happen the way it was
planned. Why else would I take the stuff I needed to return to Old Navy
and the receipt to pick up my air conditioner with me?

I got to the dental clinic at 11:30, signed in and went to meet
Afroman. (yes, he was going to be my shoulder in case I was doped up and
incapacitated) We got back at 12pm...went to the receptionist to pay the
$48 visit fee. The dental assistant...whoever the hell this rude woman
was asked me if I had my extraction fee. (Uhhh...what extraction fee? I
specifically was told that whatever you get it costs $48. Sounded too
good to be true a week I asked again. I said I wanted my x-rays
to take to another clinic. She said...why go somewhere else. You can get
it done her for $48.) So.....looking into the face of the person who
told me, instead of admitting her faults, she totally threw me under the

So...we left and got my air conditioner. I am a trooper. If Afroman
wasn't there, I would've climbed through the window and beat the crap
out of that bitch. But, I have to keep up appearances as a nice lady
(keyword: lady)

We pick up the air conditioner and all I can hear is the proverbial tick
tock of my biological clock. Why? I don't know. I'm only 21 years old.
But...I was trying to make Afroman knock me up. By saying things like "I
look just like my mom just in my dad's complexion. I love your skin
tone. You lovemy face. Why not have a baby. It'll look like me but in
your skintone. Doesn't that sound wonderful?"

Afroman: uhhhh no it doesn't. It really doesn't.

I am a joy to be around. No?
Moving along...1/2 a meltdown later when I told him to stop complaining
about carrying the air conditioner....and on the bus....I am lusting
after having a baby again. They were following me everywhere. There was
the little boy who was giving me the Joey eyes, as if to say How you
the little grl who was his playdate who laughed and laughed at me when
all I said was Hey lil mama. Her smile melted the icecaps off my heart.
There was a toddler with floppy hair and the other one who hair sandy
brown hair walking by his mom like he was a big man at 3.
The icing on the cake had to be the little piece of pie on the bus. She
loked just like me as a baby. I wanted to steal her from her parents.
Grab her and run.

Later on, when Gypsy was pissing me off...I told Afroman, I could see myself throwing her out the window. He pointedly said. If you can't handle a kitten, how are you going to handle a kid. I think I had him sold on the idea of knocking me up til that point. Shit!

We got the ait conditioner in the window and put her on....ahhhhhh coolness....
He spent the night and Gyspy was up to no good. Twin has already joked that she's jealous of my good looks. I had half a mind to think she was the one who wanted Afroman to knock her up. She wouldn't calm down when I pet her...but ooooh when AM did..she purred and purred. Bitch.

It was kind of sweeet. Me laying on his chest. Her laying on the other side. He was petting both of us. He showed me just how gentle and loving he is...that's sexy.

To be continued....I'm about to cut some coworkers....

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