vulnerable

i want you to be the one i call on when i am sad and lonely and scared of the demons in my head

but it is too much to ask

of you

of me.

i want you to hold my hand

i want you to be the one who will be there.

i am searching for you in corners
in eyes unkind
in men who want my ass and lips
hips cunt
tongue tricks

but i am searching for you to fill my heart
with love

i am looking for a man to have and to hold

and i am hoping it is you.

and i so desperately want to believe
in fairy tales of princes and frogs
of long hair you will climb
to save me from

the loneliness

the cold.

the dark evil world of dogs who wish to bark and bite
i want to believe i am the person you think i am

i want to see that woman you say i am.
i want to be the beautiful icis.

the phoenix rising from the ashes
at the drops of your love on my lips and tongue

and, i
want to be the one you call
in the middle of the night.

please do not be unkind.

and i am scared.
and i am lonely.
and i am vulnerable.

and i am woman.

complete. whole.

and i am woman.
strong and soft.

and i am woman.
with this heart that has been stomped on.
with dreams in the twinkle of my eye.

and i am woman.
who has been lied to.
who has been turned out of the door.

and i am woman.
and i am woman.
and i am woman.

and i am asking you to love me.
and i am asking you to be there.
and i am asking for someone to hold.