I remember 2 years ago, I was apart of the same house as this chick. I was more successful and competed more in the balls than she did but the people in the house praised her more.
They said that I was pretty for a big girl (I really hate that) but she was beautiful. The ideal: light-skinned, long hair, and slim. Yup, they actually said it to me. How crushing is that for someone you considered to be a friend to say that to you?
Anyways...I left and now I'm with people who do appreciate me.
And as I was having another day where I just want to ball up and cry, I saw her. Still beautiful, walking down the street, her hair was perfect, her coat cute and chic, skinny jeans and heels. She was on a date...she had that glow about her...I walked right by her..in my brown sherling that the cleaning lady at my 2nd job called a cat. My hat on covering 2 packs of hair glued in the center of my head. The bags under my eyes showing the effects of sleep-deprivation. She seemed like that shiny Barbie doll that you always beg your parents to get for you but they don't.
Except, sometimes I want to be her...
The outside is so nice. People fall all over her.
But she's 26 and she depends on other people to pay her bills and do things for her. She wears fake eye lashes everyday. She doesn't have half of what I have but....today...it felt like being kicked when I was down already.
I wanted to be the girl in heels and the cute coat and the long hair with the somebody holding my hand. I wanted to be the shiny one for a change.
I'm down but not out...I know that I'm being shaped for something miraculous. I can't wait to get home to spend some QT on my knees with God.
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