I nodded yes but in my mind...
I was like shit! I wish straight boys did that. Sometimes, I miss spooning with Afroman. He was the best spooner. We would talk and cuddle all day. I remember I called out from work one day and we spent the whole day in bed - ordered a pizza, watched a movie, *ahem* (haha), play-fought, spooned, talked...it was the best day ever.
Lately, I've been so confused. I want to be in a relationship, but I don't. I want to sleep with people, but I don't. I want to be single, but I don't. I really want someone to excite me. Move something within me...its been such a long time where I haven't felt like a weirdo to the other sex. Since I could just be me and talk and not have to be a sexier/smarter/funnier version of myself....and it really doesn't have to be someone spectacular.
You don't have to have a cure for cancer in your back pocket or have built an orphanage for children in Africa.
Just be real. Be sweet. Be smart. Be talented in something. Be opinionated. Be goal-oriented. Be aggressive but know when to ease up. Be nerdy, like me :-). Be confident but humble. Be a hard worker. Be able to laugh. Be able to make me laugh. Be able to challenge me mentally. Be able to meet me half-way. Be decent.
Decency goes a long way.
I'm not trying to be promiscuous for many reasons but one of them (besides it gets kinda skeevy at some point) is that I don't have time. My life is complicated. Its crowded and I'm really just trying to section off pieces for myself.
Another weekend has passed. I did nothing of note except clean my living room and had dinner with Liz and Chris tonight. The latter, being totally awesome...yes, be jealous, lol. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the 68 hour work week. I need to be independently wealthy like Vanessa Williams minus the herpes (right, Liz)...hahaha!!
Oh yea....my blackness was put into question....that's another post for another day....night folks!
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