Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Someone asked for the address of my other blog. It is


Its about make-up, fashion, music, etc.

Every Monday, I post something "personal" and this was yesterday's...

Saturday night, I had a 3-hour conversation with someone with whom I, before said conversation, wanted to date. The contents of that conversation are still annoying me at this very moment and will probably continue to annoy me for a few weeks...

Firstly, let me say, all we knew about each other before this conversation is that he is: 25 years old, 6ft 3in tall, black, works in maintenance, has no kids, and is black. All he knew about me is that I'm 23, 5ft tall (lol), black, no kids, and I work an office job.

Ok, the big show....
He said that he knows my kind. I'm a corporate female that dates the hedge fund type of guys but they don't do anything for me. Eventually, I want a hood guy to give it to me rough. I'm an oreo. I look like a black woman on the outside but all he hears is white coming out. I probably live in Manhattan and don't have any connection to black people whatsoever. I don't know about the hood. I've probably been messing with soft dudes my whole life. He's not soft (which he repeated in like 4 or 5 different ways).

He went on to say that he's a hood professional. He's from the hood. He loves the hood. The hood raised him. He did some time in jail for making money the hood way. Now, he's a professional going to school and how if a woman doesn't have an Associate's (at least) he's not messing with her. And blah blah blah.

I swear I didn't say much. What I did say probably amounted to about 30-45 minutes.

He was surprised to learn that I have never dated a white dude or anyone who owned a hedge fund. I still live in Brooklyn. I went to a "rough" neighborhood high school. I just basically refuted 90% of what he said about me. He did get it right that I say "dude" and that I like rock music.

After I said whatever, I asked him what he would want to do on a date. I was curious! Lol. I suggested a museum. He was not really interested. He would go to the finance museum on Wall St. He said he thought it would be a compromise since he knows my kind likes finance. It sounded like the most boring thing to me. "Oh, that's funny. Your kind usually has stocks and bonds and pays close attention to the market."

At that point, I was like...Please stop saying "my kind." Its rude. If you think you know me already, which you DON'T, what's the point of dating me?

He was sorry. He didn't mean to offend me. But he can say that because his past experiences allow him to make certain statements.
Then he said something that made it evident I wasted my time. He said, "Can I call you Becky or Kelly?"

Fuck you!

Its not new that people have said this about me - that I'm an oreo - but with Black History being over and everything, I can say with extreme confidence that being black has nothing to do with where you're born, how you sound, if you speak grammatically correct or not, or any of the bullshit he was selling. I wasn't buying it.

Bottom line: He was ignorant.

I know who I am. I love the beautiful black woman I am growing into everyday. I am who I am and I'm proud.

Be who you are. Be proud of who you are and if people don't understand you or won't even TRY, tell them to keep it moving....
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile


Solomon said...

You tell'um Nina!

Anonymous said...

That pisses me off too, when ppl think they know you, but have the slightest idea as to who you really are.

Monie said...

Ugh...wtf was his problem?

neemie said...

/begin rant:

shit, how black you gotta be?

i'm sick of that shit. why do we have to go around asserting how black we are to others?

in the south (read: texas), we are all n******. they don't give a shit what part of town you're from.

he's just an insecure fucktard who asserts his self-esteem by tearing down others.

he is a tool.

\end rant